


Mac and Dennis: Manhunters Redux

by pollypocket



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 07:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10431798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollypocket/pseuds/pollypocket
Summary: They're on the hunt again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> set whenever you want it to be set, inspired by the ot3-ness of "mac's banging the waitress", i may live to regret this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> future chapters will be more than tagless dialogue. future chapters will earn that explicit rating.

“How about Ben?”

“Too easy, we definitely want more of a challenge than that dimwit could provide.”

“Huh. I guess you’re right, he is a bit of a soft target."

"C'mon, Mac, who else have you got rolling around in that pretty head of yours?"

"Well, I know he's been a target before but, what about Cricket? I mean-"

“Absolutely not. Disgusting. Do you have any idea how many diseases he must have? How many parasites must call that body home? Mangy strays are not worthy prey.”

“Hear me out though: we Pretty Woman him.” 

“Oh, you got me, now you're talking angles! I’m intrigued, continue..”

“Well, we take him to the free clinic. Get him some new clothes. Feed him. Delouse him. Get him a haircut. Probably have to take him to a dentist. Earn back a little bit of his trust somehow.”

“God, stop. Sounds like all work no reward and, oh yeah, I just remembered we’re talking about Cricket. I mean, shit, think about it. Even if we Pretty Woman’d him would you really want to…”

“Shit, you’re right. But I’m running out of ideas, man. Are you sure you don’t want to just go out and pick some strange dude? That could be fun!”

“No, no, no. There is no art to that! Damn it, Mac! Come on, there has to be one adequate specimen we can come up with.” 

"I mean… There’s always…”

“No, absolutely not.”

“You didn’t even- why are you- listen, Dennis… he’d definitely provide a challenge, he’s way more better than any of the other guys we've thought of, and I’ll admit I would enjoy it.”

“You would enjoy it too much, Mac, and that is the problem. No, we will not be choosing Rex.”

“Well, dude I don’t know what to say. You come up with someone, I’m tapped, y’know and this was your idea.”

“Oh, go ahead and play the blame game Mac. Just because I suggested it doesn’t mean you hadn’t thought of it before.” 

“Yeah but, you’re just imposing a lot of rules and pressure on this, Dennis. I thought it’d be, y’know, a little more fun than this. Not so much work.”

“Well the work is what is going to make it fun, Mac! The thrill of the hunt needs to be just as fulfilling as capturing and conquering or I’ll be honest it’s just not worth it to me.”

“Alright, I do have one card in my pocket but I don’t know what you’re going to think of it so I’m not sure I want to say it.”

“Well, you sure as shit have to share now that you’ve admitted that! Who is it?”

“I mean… there’s always Charlie.”

“Hm.”

“I said it, I can’t take it back and I won’t.”

"No, I... I like it. He provides a many layered challenge. He'd keep us on our toes, being a wildcard and all, but at the same time we know him as well as anyone could. We'd have to be delicate and forceful almost simultaneously which is certainly artful. Ultimately, I believe it would be very satisfying for everyone involved."

"Really?"

"Well, it would almost certainly end in complete disaster."

"That's what I thought, that's why I didn't want to say it. God damn it, we should just forget it."

“Alright, let’s do it. Let’s seduce Charlie.”


End file.
